2023 - The Year of Radical Authenticity
"We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us."
―Jean-Paul Sartre
Zora Neale Hurston once wrote that “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” 2023 was a year that asked a lot of me, and to be honest, I am grateful for it. It curiously asked me: what would happen if I was braver? What if I stood firmer in my voice? What would happen if I said yes more? What would happen if I loved hard? What would happen if I pushed myself just a bit further? Luckily, this year overwhelmed me with opportunities to find the answers to these questions.
After a difficult patch at the end of 2022, I walked into this year with my heart on fire. Determination steeled my bones and continued to strip away the mask that I had gotten so accustomed to wearing. After years of therapy, I’ve found that instead of wallowing when I’m upset, I now use my anger and dissatisfaction as fuel for growth and action. So, when 2023 landed on my doorstep, I knew I wanted to make some radical changes.
Those who know me, know that I live my life by three main pillars: never stop creating, continue to learn, and always help others. These pillars have acted as a lighthouse on the tumultuous sea of life and this year was no different, using them to light my way as I navigated the winding path of my personal and professional journey. In the more than a decade since I formalized them, the pillars have become foundational to my life’s core philosophy.
My heart space has always bloomed under the tender tutelage of the creative process. I’ve been an artist for as long as I have been able to hold a crayon, weaving stories from the threads of my mind and calling forth images that plague my thoughts. But, the last few years have left me artistically stunted. My mind focused so heavily on creating for others in the confines of my job that I lost my desire to create for myself. This last year, I challenged myself to find that passion again and because of that, I’ve been able to open the door to new artistic pursuits. I’ve experimented with ceramics, had my first solo art show in a local gallery, and started to explore the world of printmaking.
I said yes and yes again to things that scared me. Facing the unknown with a sense of curiosity instead of fear has enabled me to broaden my worldview and lean into opportunities to connect with others on a more authentic level. It has been such an honor to have a year as dynamic as the one I’ve had. The list of professional accomplishments of the year are at the end of this piece, and as important as they have been in my growth, it’s not what I wish to focus heavily on.
Community has been my soft landing the last few years. As a single, childless woman in her mid-30s, it can be tricky to find people who have the capacity to meet you where you are. I’ve been lucky enough to have built a core group of friends that began because of my interests and hobbies, and these friends have become some of the most consistent people in my life. Patio dinners on warm summer evenings; 100 mile bike rides; yoga on Sunday mornings; and laughter over cocktails at High Street Hop House — these women have filled this last year with so much life. They’ve been my confidants, my hype-women, my support system. I’ve also had the chance to rekindle old friendships, but as with most relationships, they sometimes are not as easy as we would like them to be. These chances to build and rebuild community is something that I’ve learned to relish because there is always hope in the space between.
They say that self-discovery is a never ending journey and each year, I find that to be emphatically true. Growing up, I struggled with sensory issues, executive function challenges, and a brain that seemed to constantly buzz with life. As I got older, I naturally enmeshed these things into who I was without question. The aversion to specific food textures and ability to hyper focus under stress became a part of my “quirks.” It wasn’t until I started to tunnel vision while out with friends and needed to step outside to self-regulate that I realized there was something there. After several doctors’ appointments and assessments, I was formally diagnosed with ADHD. The sense of relief that came with a diagnosis was as surprising as it was delightful. I had no idea how much shame I had carried about internal struggles until it was lifted.
Turns out, there has been a plethora of conversations about the increase in adult women being diagnosed as neurodivergent because they were overlooked as children. I won’t go too deep into this, but girls often do not present similarly to young boys. Instead of hyperactive and disruptive behavior, we exhibit more inattentive and distracted behavior as children. Many women who are diagnosed are often considered high achievers who didn’t seek out answers until they reached a point of burnout in adulthood. I was one of those women. After discussions with my doctor, we concluded that I have been able to maintain a high level of success because I built accommodations for potentially obstructive behaviors. At this point, medication is not something I’m interested in because of my system of tools, but many folks do take that route with success. Since this diagnosis, I’ve found that I’ve given myself more grace and am more productive because I know how to work better with my brain. It has truly been a year of acceptance.
But what of this new year?
2024 is like an untouched trail after a morning snowstorm; fresh, unmarked with endless possibilities. My deepest desire is to live life to the fullest. I want to challenge myself personally and professionally. I plan to stand firmly in who I am. I yearn to love the people in my life fiercely. I hope to create artistic work that moves myself and maybe even others. I dream of making a positive change and building community alongside amazing people who inspire me. I intend to feel deeply, but never forget that change is inevitable.
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
―Audre Lorde
For posterity’s sake, I’ll share what I’ve been up to professionally. Looking back over this list reminds me that people do find value in my work and what I have to share.
Live Interviews & Presentations
Socioeconomic mixing in the Civic Commons, American Library Association - LibLearnX Conference, Jan. 2023 - New Orleans, LA
Lock 3 Groundbreaking Speech, April 2023 - Akron, OH
Across Divides: Segregation, Social Networks & Perceptions of Place, Reimagining the Civic Commons Studio #7 (Interviewer), April 2023 - Macon, GA
Q&A with an Emerging Leader: Bronlynn Thurman, Athena Akron, Oct. 2023 - Akron, OH
So, What’s Really Going on?, Grantmakers in the Arts (video presentation), Dec. 2023 - Puerto Rico
Press Highlights
Black Women Explore fosters safe space for minorities to do outdoor recreation in Akron, Akron Beacon Journal, March 2023 (Link)
How do I create community around an activity?, Akron Mirror by the Akron-Summit County Public Library, June 2023 (Link)
Can a Folded Map Unite Us?, Reimagining the Civic Commons, June 2023 & Aug. 2023 (Link)
City Centric: Akron, PBS Western Reserve, Sept. 2023 (Link)
City Centric Podcast: An interview with Bronlynn Thurman, PBS Western Reserve, Sept. 2023 (Link)
The Landscape Nerd x Black Women Explore, The Landscape Nerd Podcast, Sept. 2023 (Link)
Fall Hiking Spree - 60 Years of Memories, Summit Metro Parks, Sept. 2023 (Link)
‘A lot of space to grow’: How a global pandemic has changed life in downtown Akron, Akron Beacon Journal, Dec. 2023 (Link)
Panel Discussions
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc’s How to Better Protect Our Hearts”, March 2023
Changemakers Panel - Elevate to Lead Conference by AULYP, May 2023
Akron’s Small Business Community Lenders, December 2023 (Moderator)
